Why Can't We be Polite to Our Loved Ones as to People Whom We Are NOT related?

Why is it that we can be so rude, short-tempered, and impatient with the folks that we love the most, yet would never consider behaving in this manner with people that we are not related to? The answer lies in the dynamics of family life. We have to put up with one another, no matter what. Most family members admit to loving each other, if not exactly liking the other guy every single moment. In other words, we're kind of stuck with a grumpy Grandpa, a nagging Mom, an inconsiderate older sister, or a rambunctious little brother. They're not going anywhere and neither are we. This leads to a tendency to take one another for granted. That's normal and part of the nature of family life in most homes. We are not on our best behavior because we are so used to each other, assume that members will always be there, and are often so absorbed in our own needs and activities that we cannot see beyond the tips of our collective noses.

That often leads to a distinct family dynamic that is impolite, rude, or even offensive. In other words, we get relationship-lazy, and it's an insidious process. Not only are the kids culprits but so are Mom and Dad. Many parents barely get in a few sentences to each other, let alone polite conversation, before dinner has to be made, dishes done, homework supervised, and baths completed. Often children see their folks barking out commands to one another with rarely a civil word spoken. And these are not necessarily folks whose marriages are in trouble — they are just too busy, preoccupied, or stressed out to take the time to see how they are miscommunicating and too distant, lazy, or frightened to make some changes.

Hope the above extract can help to clarify xi-yuan's doubt on why she still can hold her cool towards her colleague but not with her mum.

"Devil or Angel" Hmm, interesting! Hi, xi-yuan, welcomed to the wonderland of Devilz Heaven, hahaha...