50 rules for men

Came across the below 50 rules on the net which I think, are very interesting.

1. Call. [Occasionally drop her a call, she will feel pampered.]
2. Don't lie. [If you are ever caught lying, you're gonna have a hard time - "God Bless You!"; harmless white lies may be pemissible at times]
3. Never tape any of her body parts together. [Especially her lips? Muahaha...]
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls. [This helps to build up the faith in you...]
5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.
6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes." [If you want others be kind to you, be kind to others]
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?" [Ditto as per above comment against rule no.6]
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad. [Yes, the gals do not mind you ordering for her but mind that you order her around!!! If you prefer to order someone around, think a maid is better.]
10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad. [How do you enjoyed being followed around and keep track of? Being over-possessive is not being attentive!!!]
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lard-Ass", and "Bitch" are bad. [Most gals prefer the more cultured ones, vulgar language is not welcomed.]
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony. [Yes, be gentle to women. Unless you don't mind being sued for abusing?]
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question. [Erghhh... No Comment...]
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed. [People always have the impression that the next one is always better. Start believing in it if you have yet started.]
15. Her cooking is excellent. [It's the thoughts that matters, learn to appreciate the effort she put in even if the dishes do not taste as good as you have wished.]
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking. [You need to learn to share the load from her shoulder.]
17. Dish soap is your friend. [Isn't fair if she cook and you wash?]
18. Hat does not equal shower, after shave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay. [You have managed to satisfy her stomache, not her needs, muahaha...]
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation. [Never try to arouse her with any possible suspension. Women are good detectives.]
21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?" [Ditto as per above comment against comment no. 20]
22. Two words: clean socks. [Smelly socks will turn off anybody, no only women!]
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk. [Men never become more attractive when they are drunk, it is always the women who do so.]
24. Burping is not sexy. [In fact, it is disgusting! Especially if there's any "smell" from your burping... Yucks!]
25. You're wrong. [Learn to admit your mistake even if you think you are not at fault. Trust me, it makes your life easier.]
26. You're sorry. [Learn to say sorry even if you don't mean it. Life will be much easier.]
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is. [Women and men think differently, they also appreciate things differently]
28. Ditto for your discourse on football. [Ditto as per comment against rule no.27]
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound. [Ditto as per comment against rule no.27]
30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad. [If you can't even think of a simple stmt to touch her, forget about asking for her hand!]
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood. [Never assume, assume make an ass out of you and me.]
32. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist. [Ditto as per above comment against rule no.31]
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice. [Women just tend to be a little more tempramental, pls learn to be more understanding.]
34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue. [Interesting rule which sounds logical, muahaha...]
35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after dark. [Don't you think it's gentleman to ensure the women reaches home safely esp after dark?]
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive. [Very TRUE!!!]
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it. [This is one good way to pamper her.]
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you. [Dont be wishy-washy. It is unfair to the woman who has wasted much youth on you jerk! The longer you drag, the more pain she feels...]
39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't. [Remember rule no.1? Don't lie!]
40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often. [Let her know how you feels, she won't be able to guess what's on your mind.]
41. Always, always suck up to her brother. [Yah, in the event you does her something wrong, the brother may not punch you so hard on your face? Muahaha!!!]
42. Think boxers. [??? What's the rationale? Someone suggested bcoz more sexy?]
43. Silk boxers. [??? No idea what's the rationale. Silk boxer even more sexy? Muahaha...]
44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary"she so-names. [This the basic fundamental rule of being romantic, still need to coach? Then you must be hopeless...]
45. Don't try to change the way she dresses. [Of course, everyone has their own style! You should accept the way she is. Unless you are willing to change the way you dress sloppily with bermudas and slippers?]
46. Her haircut is never bad. [Learn to appreciate, not criticise!]
47. Don't let your friends pick on her. [Think of how you feel if her friends were to pick on you!]
48. Call... and call again. [ Errr... I not sure if this is required by all women. Is there really so much to talk?]
49. Don't lie. [Women hate Liers!!!]
50. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your ass smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything. [Yah, the world is never fair. Men get their enjoyment while women need to go through nine to ten months of suffer before labour.]

If you notice, there is a duplication in 2 of the rules - " Call" & "Don't lie". Guys, do note the importance of these 2 rules and never ever try to break them, else be prepare to break off... keke :P (Juz joking)